A Brat's Diary of Visits to Wal-Mart

BlackVelvet007 · #1 02-22-2007, 02:03 AM

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers I'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they can help me, I began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked my nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knew where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the Auto Department, practiced my "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, I assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least .

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

SOMEONE'S GETTING A SPANKING FOR THIS!!!!!!

southern_sweetie · #2 02-22-2007, 02:16 AM

LOL that is too funny BV! Hmmmm brings back memmories...ha ha well at least the Madonna one does. Me and my friends have done that one before...the rest I won't comment on. Thanks for posting this I needed to laugh!

RG_ · #3 02-22-2007, 06:50 AM

Old theme perfectly re-worked, BV. You've found just the right application and context for it.

I can even see a comedy vid in it, worked to fit into our world and with the proper ending.

BlackVelvet007 · #4 02-22-2007, 09:10 AM

LOL sort of a spanker's version of "Employee of the Month".

paully62 · #5 02-22-2007, 10:02 AM

NOW DAMMIT BV I had to mop up that tomato juice. Ok, I dont really work at Wal Mart. If must be comforting for our little friends here that all they have to do is carry a aquirt gun to get theri spankings.

lil_babygirl · #6 02-22-2007, 02:55 PM

OMG... these are soooo bad.. I was rolling in my chair.. just about fell out. I've done the Madonna one back in my day.. ohhhh and I love the one about the Wet Floor sign on carpet..... Hmmmm time to make a trip to Walmart I'd say.

EmmyDoll · #7 02-22-2007, 03:24 PM

Aw. How personal is this?! I work in Best Buy and the alarm clocks are right behind my department. I have had several people set them to go off at the same time.

And its annoying to turn them off, because if you don't ACTUALLY turn them off, and just press snooze. Ten minutes later.... it starts all over again.

aurora · #8 02-22-2007, 03:44 PM

Woohooo, I get to be the first to notice a new poster! Welcome to the board EmmyDoll. Play nice and the Tops won't bite... unless you're lucky

Adelina · #9 02-22-2007, 06:17 PM

Excellent, BV!

EmmyDoll · #10 02-22-2007, 07:23 PM

Thank you!

And I can add a few more to the list above.

"Challenge random people to a dule with wrapping paper sticks"

"Add random objects to peoples carts and watch them pay for it. Or see if they notice."

"Dart around behind objects and clothes rack with a water gun humming the 'Mission Impossible Theme'."

"Play hide and go seek with twenty of your friends."

"Grab a handful of bouncy balls and go wild!"

"Hold indoor cart races down the main aisle."

And I could go on and on and on.....

Maybe I shouldn't be allowed in public...