Emotion, Spanking, and psychology

Hi, i am a new member.. never try SPANKING before.. I joined this because i have this thought.. wonder wherthe i am alone in this.

I'm "Scott".. i'm Gay. I was laying on my couch, just thinking....you know?
i am a healthy twenty-five year old guy... i grow up in a normal, healthy family... i don't lack anything material wise.

Maybe i am just feeling abit down today..
I wonder how i will feel if, a strong, manly figure is to spank me. I wonder, will i be turned on? Or will it cause something deep within to raise to the surface ... Will i sob and cry uncontrollably ? will i regress and behave like a child? What will he do? Will he hug me?

Will this well craved mask of mine fall, and reveal that insecure self to that figure?

Am i going crazy?? hope to hear comments from your..