Crossing the line...

I don't know if I have ever posted on this forum before. Hmm, this might be a first.

I have the problem you describe Aurora. I have a very difficult time saying "no" when someone crosses a line with me. I have suffered abuse during my life, both as a child and as an adult. I don't know if my inability to say "no" stems from the abuse I suffered, or if it has something to do with the way I was raised, or if it is just part of my innate personality, or if I am just too submissive. But I struggle like hell with this and I have for a long time.

For me, learning to love myself and value myself as an individual has been very important in combatting this. When I love myself I realize I don't want to be treated that way and I don't deserve to be treated that way, so I stand up for myself more.

I agree with what chuckles says about therapy. That is one way a person can learn to love themselves, by seeing a good therapist who can help them understand they don't deserve to be abused. It also helps to be surrounded by good people who can make you feel special.

I don't know if this situation refers to you or someone you know, but best wishes either way.

[spanked~amber]

It is my opinion that when " a line is crossed " it is a different world than tops & bottoms and spanking play ect. It is abuse. Just because a man knows that this woman is submissive by nature, does not give him the right to take that for granted. I have been in a situation that turned violent a few years ago. I was engaged and fortunatly I saw the jekyl side of him then and not after a wedding ceremony. Either way it's a heartache but a lesson well learned. Because of an abusive home life while growing up, it only took that one time. My instinct was to get out with out hesitation and that I did. My submissive side did not prevail. From experience I will say this; Don't waste your time and put your safety and happiness at stake thinking they will change. Whether it be a play partner in the spanking realm or in a relationship, not putting up with abuse does not mean your not submissive, it means your wise enough to stand up for your well being.

[Jean-Paul]

That is very good advice,Amber.
I would have a talk with him and tell him
how you feel,and if it doesn't change,
then I would move on.
Believe me,there are plenty of tops out
there that will treat you right.
JP