I'm new...with questions...

[Adelina]

I wanted to add another angle that I missed in my earlier post. You asked about conversion; while it's possible, don't get your heart set on it. If you're lucky, he'll come around and humor your preferences; but if he's not a "born" spanko, he probably won't ever have it oozing through his pores the way we do. It sounds like he's not real keen on the idea, so you'll have to tread pretty lightly and ease into the idea.

I recall reading an article on how to convert your vanilla partner, but I cannot remember where. If I find it, I'll let you know.

I would caution against putting too much pressure on the issue. Since consent is such a big issue within our community, I feel it's only fair to extend that same courtesy to the vanillas in our lives, and not pressure people to do things that really make them uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure that if I whined enough or really demanded it, my husband would go along with me on my spanko ride; but I know how much it disturbs him and turns him off, and that makes it pretty unenjoyable for me, since I feed on the enthusiasm of my partner.