I'm new...with questions...

[Adelina]

I too have a vanilla husband--well, in the spanko sense, at least. He's actually a bottom within a different fetish category, but is not the least bit interested in spanking. He does, however, understand my need, and is open to me exploring on my own. He's even given pre-emptive forgiveness should anything get out of control and go too far, though I don't intend for that to happen. He's just too important to me.

This type of partner seems to be a very rare breed, and I know that I am extremely lucky to have him. Given the disposable view that many modern people have of marriage, a lot of folks don't find it unreasonable to give up a vanilla partnership in order to seek a spanko replacement. Not that I'm not realistic; for sure, divorce is at times very well-merited, and it's a big step for women to have a way out of marriages that our predecessors were doomed to endure.

It's worth looking at what attracted you to this person in the first place, especially if the kink wasn't involved. There must have been something which connected you. Then, the task is to weigh these things and decide which is more important, more meaningful and fulfilling for you. It's very possible that you could find the spanko man of your dreams... only to discover that he too leaves the toilet seat up and won't take out the garbage. Reality can be a real downer.

I don't want people to be stuck in a relationship that isn't good. But be sure to take time and make sure that what you're giving up is worth the risk of not finding something better.