So many frogs and so few princes...

[RG_]

Originally Posted by iggy

I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, thinking...

This is your first actual mistake.

And rather than analyze a couple of others things that, being me, I could analyze let me just say this.

There is no excuse for anyone actiing like this at any time. And with something this insensitive, boorish, and egregious not only does it not merit a "second chance,' which you graciously gave him, it should not get a second chance, period.

Because of the unique power/authority imbalance that we deal with in the spanking (and BDSM, for those into that) world, I think it is enormously important for those in the Top/Dom position to ensure that while exercising their authority to be sure that they are both respectful in general to those who are bottoms, but to also keep in mind that they may be less prone than the usual woman to stand up and assert themselves when put in such a position due to their natural submissiveness.

His actions were inexcusable. You did the right thing (just not soon enough). If you would be so kind as to e-mail me his contact information I would be more than glad to explain to him in detail what a sorry loser that he i....ummm...I mean to offer some instruction on the more gentlemanly way to communicate with the fairer sex.

[spanked~amber]

You tell 'em RG !

[RG_]

Originally Posted by spanked~amber

You tell 'em RG !

Stories like this just make me really angry at (expletive deleted) who act like this. Unfortunately, it has been my experience that it's a pretty common thing in our world (and probably in the vanilla world, too), and made worse, as noted above, by the inherent power imbalance. I think Doms, emotionally healthy ones, at least, are imbued with a natural sense of protectiveness for bottoms and subs. For bottoms and subs, I think that a key characteristic to look for in a Dom/Top is this sense of protectiveness. Anyone who acts like that guy did with iggy is so out of bounds that his kind needs to be constantly kept in the light.

Can you tell that my dander is still up?

[Rafa]

Originally Posted by RG_

I think Doms, emotionally healthy ones, at least, are imbued with a natural sense of protectiveness for bottoms and subs. For bottoms and subs, I think that a key characteristic to look for in a Dom/Top is this sense of protectiveness. Anyone who acts like that guy did with iggy is so out of bounds that his kind needs to be constantly kept in the light.

That really sums it up nicely. I suspect many would-be doms labor under the mistaken idea that they are supposed to be mean spirited, rude, unreasonable, etc.

Well done Iggy. May you find more prinves than frogs in the future!

Rafa

Wow, what an f-in jerk! What a loser! Bravo for you to just being done with him! What a loser - trust me, you don't need anything like that. He would not be caring or anything, just a loser!

[BlackVelvet007]

Good to see everyone on the same page with this one. It's a shame Iggy had to endure this kind of garbage, but good to know that true spankos like us value Iggy's intellect and self-esteem.