How submissive is submissive?

[Mike Schaeffer]

Originally Posted by liz

Mike that was an excellent and clarifying post. I definitely do not see anyone here as abusers!! And if the person didn't want to stay they wouldn't.

Someone told me to be careful. Well yes, I am way way way careful. Since I have only one time been in any relationship that had any amt of spanking in it. Most guys I have met believe it is wrong-- I think even though (and perhaps partly because) I like it.

--liz

There are always odd balls and crazies, but for the most part spankos are just spankos. And it is important to be careful and safe. In a couple situation everything has to be agreed upon, if there are "set rules and behavior" for the spankee there has to be for the spanker as well or the whole thing will never be a "functional" spanking relationship. I've been in many vanilla relationships with women who had no interest in spanking even when i brought it up to them and so no spanking ever happened. I would never spank or dominate someone against their will nor would I tolerate it if I knew about it.

On a personal note.... I have never and will never be physically abusive to a woman. I'm offended by the very idea of that happening and can tell you that as a former Law Enforcement Officer I will step in without hesitation and put a stop to any domestic abuse I see, even at personal risk or the danger of arrest. That was a difficult part for me to get past, but that's all stuff that I had to deal with on a personal level. There are lines that can never be crossed and again it all has to be about understanding; comfort and, more importantly, trust between the spanker and spankee.

If the right conditions don't exist the two people need to find others that are more i tune with their needs / desires.