Tears and Spanking

[jackie seven]

My personal opinion as a spanker:

I understand that people have different opinions and perspectives on this and I respect that. But personally, I have no intention to cause tears or get any pleasure from making a woman cry under any circumstances. I like for a woman to enjoy being spanked and derive pleasure from it. A certain amount of slight discomfort might add to her experience, but I don't want to actually hurt any woman, especially one I care about. If she wants to pretend or play act to be feeling some discomfort, that's fine. But in reality, tears are something I can do with out.

[garyspk]

Originally Posted by jackie seven

My personal opinion as a spanker:

I understand that people have different opinions and perspectives on this and I respect that. But personally, I have no intention to cause tears or get any pleasure from making a woman cry under any circumstances. I like for a woman to enjoy being spanked and derive pleasure from it. A certain amount of slight discomfort might add to her experience, but I don't want to actually hurt any woman, especially one I care about. If she wants to pretend or play act to be feeling some discomfort, that's fine. But in reality, tears are something I can do with out.

This whole "tears" issue is another hot-button issue. My personal taste on this matches J Seven's almost 100%. If a spankee feels the need to cry I'd sure like a "heads up" beforehand. Otherwise I would feel horrible.

[Rose]

I'm a bit on the fence about this issue. I have cried during a spanking before, but it was triggered by the scolding and not by the spanking itself. I had disappointed my husband and I felt horrible about it. The tears were somewhat cathartic, but I felt so terrible about what I'd done that my guilt wasn't entirely relieved by the spanking or the tears. On the other hand, there have been times when I'm under stress that I wished a spanking could bring me to tears so that I could release some of the tension. I've never been able to cry from a spanking alone, and although my husband has tried his hardest to bring me to tears for the purpose of relieving stress, I've never been able to achieve tears without guilt. I don't think tears are necessary for a spanking to be effective, but sometimes it would be nice if I could have a good cry.

[EmmyDoll]

I thought I ought to post my idea's on this subject. Tears and spanking? Yes, they are related, but not nessacary.

I myself, have only cried once. And it was not from the spanking at all. It was from the emotional stress that had been built up inside of me. The spanker just forced me to let it go, with an asistance of a few hard smacks.

The crying was very refreshing and I felt so much better after it was all over.

But I feel my opinion is null and void on the subject since I haven't yet to have a REAL discipline session. I had a few minor ones with Brian this weekend, one brought me to the brink of tears, but I sucked in a few deep breaths and recovered. For some reason I'm waiting on something. Holding back from that point.

But. No. Tears are not nessacary, but often times make the experience a lot more memorable.

[jerseysweet]

The first time I cried from a spanking it was a punishment one. Granted I had received other punishments before hand but they were never really punishments for me. It was little things and I realize now that I felt no real connection to the spanker, although we were good friends.

Last semester I got a punishment spanking from someone and I felt awful. I felt genuinely bad. I knew I deserved it so I didn't fight it at first. The tears started when he first bent me over his bed and gave me maybe half a dozen hand spanks. They were the hardest I'd ever felt in my life. I said "oooww!!" and he said "Did that hurt?" and I nodded and said "Yeah.." and he said "Well I wasn't even going to give you a warm up so you should be happy."

This guy is a hard spanker. I'd rank him in the top 3 with Dallas being 1 (although I've never been spanked by Dallas...I'm pretty sure he's the hardest spanker ever....).

When I found out those 6 swats were my warm up and he meant business. I started crying and I didn't stop until he dropped me back off at my dorm. He was very gentle and caring throughout the whole thing which lasted a total of about 30-45 minutes. He was firm and strict and lectured a bit, but he was patient and I didn't get extra when I would jump up. I know I took the spanking well - he used several different implements, including several paddles and a belt and leather strap.

The tears felt amazing and they were fueled by the pain. Started by emotion, fueled by pain. When the spanking stopped the emotion kept the tears going for a while. His hugs and holding me helped the tears to begin to subside.

The second time I ever cried was over my spring break when I went to Disney with my friend, Mr.Fox.

He isn't into marks or extremely hard spankings or anything - mostly fun - which is fine by me, we had an absolute blast. One day though I was cranky and a total brat. Not even on purpose bratting to get a spanking. I was really upset with myself and the way I acted. Everytime I was cranky he would add a number. Started with one and made it to 8 at which point he said "These are minutes and the implement is the belt" and that about worked.

He gave me 5 minutes with the belt - thats when I started to cry a bit as the belt is pure punishment for me - and he stopped for a minute then gave me 10 final VERY hard ones. He held me a lot after, and gave me lotion. It was nice.

I will only cry with someone whom I feel intimately (not necessarily sexually) connected with.

Often times I can't cry from a spanking, I try and it doesn't happen - so I leave it to happen on it's own.

[nightowl]

Hummmm, crying.........I believe like those who stated above that it is individualized and not always the "goal" of a spanking...if it happens it happens..... for me, there are times, I am totally stressed and just ask for a spanking to tears session.....it doesn't take much or very long to get the tears flowing, and afterward it's wonderful to feel so calm....i find the problem with this 'spanking to tears" spanking is the Top stops too soon, thinking that his spanking made me cry so quickly that he needs to stop.....I like to have the spanking continue even when I'm crying, but I find many Tops (like some above) don't like the crying, so they stop....for me, being spanked to tears is MORe than just "to" tears....spanking and tears opens the flood gates and allows me to let it all out.....Crying for several minutes while getting spanked is the best head clearer for me.

Now punishment spankings are a different story. When I know it's punishment, I start to cry before the spankings ever start.....because i know I've disappointment my Top and that he doesn't enjoy having to punish me, but that it's necessary....the whole punishment "routine" keeps me teary eyed and once the hairbrush is brought out the tears really start to flow...but afterward, I feel refreshed, forgiven, refocused.....

So long story short....tears are very beneficial to me and i feel wonderful after a good spanking with tears, whatever the reason for the spanking

[kaylex]

I haven't cried from a spanking since I was about 11. I think it's linked to some pretty horrible punishments I got from that point in my life on and getting through a spanking for me meant blocking it all out. It was my goal to be silent and stoic (some of you can attest I do a VERY good job with this). I wasn't going to give the person the satisfaction of making me cry. I never fully mastered the silent part but I did the crying part.

Ironic now that I'm doing this willingly I really wish I could cry. I'm with Jerseysweet though on this one. The person who is going to get there is going to be some one I am connected with on a whole different level. As I heard some one put it the other day, "the one that get's through is going to be my prince."

Make no mistake when I'm playing I'm only looking to play not fall apart emotionally... but there have been times where it's more intimate then play and I wish I could have tears... and nothing comes.

Oh well tear's are my everest!
Kaylex

[sarah thorne]

To cry, for me, is exceedingly scary because it exposes me, and makes me vulnerable. For me, with my personality type (ISTJ), any kind of emotional response to situations is a rarity. I fight outward emotional responses (not just related to spanking, but in most situations : happy, sad, content, satisfied) mightily. In my perception, it gives others power when they know what they can/can not do to make me happy, sad, hurt, etc. For reasons not fully yet understood by me, this vulnerability puts me at an emotional disadvantage and makes me extremely uncomfortable. Altho I know intellectually that crying does not make one weak (I don't view people who cry as 'weak'), I personally feel weak if I allow tears, or emotional response. Like I can't control myself and that makes me weak if I can't control my responses.

Therefore, tears come with complete and total trust in someone that they will not use the knowledge of what makes me cry to my detriment. I struggled a lot with the urge to cry with RG. I still have problems with doing it freely, but tears come more easily in certain situations with him, including some spanking situations. Many times it is due to an emotional response that is simply released by the pain of a spanking. And there are still many times where I hold back. I've never sobbed; I usually jut have a few tears sliding down, but for me that is a HUGE deal.

And he makes me look at him, too, so he can see, which is the hardest thing for me to do. It's one thing to cry into the bedspread where he can't see my face (even if he knows I am doing it), but another thing to actually have him see me when I am doing it.

sarah

[Veronica Daniels]

I wish sometimes I could keep my tears in. I do not cry at every spanking, that is forsure! I do cry from disciplinary spankings when I feel that I have let Dr. D or myself down and sometimes from pain. It makes me feel very vulnerable and exposed, but sometimes it really takes away from the spanking to try and keep them in. At times it is very cathartic to cry and I know that is what I need. I am so thankful that my good Doctor D knows that however I respond to a spanking is what needs to happen and is OK with it. If I cry it is just fine with him and he knows just how to deal with it and if I do not cry it is OK, too. Once he tried to make me cry during a spanking and all it did was make me really defiant and truly took away from the experience. So we both learned from that what does not work for us.

I think everyone has a different response to spanking based on their personality and what is going on emotionally with them at the time. I have learned as a Top to really take the time to read my bottom as well as I can during the spanking and respect the emotional and physical responses I am getting. As a bottom I have learned to just let out what needs to come out and be in the moment.

Best regards-
Veronica

[Hapzoid]

I don't cry. Moan, scream, wiggle, kick, but no cry. I would like to but don't.
I heard somewhere that if one feels "guilt" in association with the spanking it helps, but haven't got there yet.