Should I just give up this lifestyle?

[wkp]

I can definitely relate to your post. I am a male sub. I have been married to my wife for 18 years. We have been together for 22 years. I became aware of my fascination with being spanked at a very early age. My wife was the first person I had ever told of it. Until very recently, she was the only person I had ever told. I told her very early in our relationship, long before we were married. She giggled at first, but then did try to fullfil my spanking desires despite the fact that she was not into it. She tried many times over the next 22 years. I think that says a lot about who she is and what my hapiness means to her. Unfortunatly her attempts just never worked for me. It definitely didn't work for her. Eventually I had pretty much given up on it. We have an uncommonly open, honest and caring relationship. There was no way I was going to give that up for spanking, so I figured I would just give up the idea of being spanked. The only problem was my need to be spanked didn't go away, not in the slightest. We talked about it and agreed that maybe I should get my spanking outside our marriage. That was a few months ago and when I began posting to this and other message boards. I never did find anyone to play with. Anyway, this weekend my wife brought up the idea of her spanking me. I am not sure where this came from. She had NEVER initiated it herself before. This time she really listed to me when I explained to her what I needed. I even gave her a few prompts along the way, which she followed. I think my participation on these message boards helped me to better understand it myself, thus helping me to communicate it to her more effectivly. To make a long story not too much longer, this weekend I got a spanking like I have never had before! I never had been really spanked before this weekend. Our attempts always got derailed before any real spanking happened. The best part is that my wife enjoyed it too. She had never responded to it before, because I had never really responded. Both our excitement levels just fed off each other. Now we are BOTH looking forward to playing again next weekend. A spanko couple has been born!

I really don't have any advice other than what you can pick out on your own from my story. I just wanted to let you know that there is hope.

Take care.