Disappointment and a Top

[RG_]

Originally Posted by lil_dixiedarling

Have you ever heard those words and felt they were unjust and so they didn't effect you though? that is where i find myself right now and wondering if i'm alone on this one.

While I understand the general nature of the question, it would seem one that would really need to be answered by bottoms/subs. However, I do have some curiosity concerning what actually happened, i.e. what is it that your Dom or Top was disappointed in, but which you feel to be unwarranted?

[sarah thorne]

I have been punished when I didn't feel that a punishment was fully warranted. But I do not recall him saying he was 'disappointed' in me. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think he has ever said it.

I can't answer to what you are asking specifically, but I would think that if I felt what was happening was unjust that the words "I'm disappointed in you' would not leave me feeling remorseful.

sarah

[aurora]

Okay, here's the thing... Disappointment plays a big role for me. It's gut-wrenching to know that I've done something to disappoint my partner in anyway, BUTTTTTTTTTTTT (and note that it's a big "but") it's entirely self-inflicted. It's me who's convinced that my misdeed is the end of the world, and that his faith in me is shattered, and that my soul is forever tarnished until I can attone for my sins and hope to flush away said disappointment.

I don't think I've ever really had a partner say to me that he was disappointed. I don't think I would react well to actually having him vocalize something so harsh. I mean, sure, he can say he's disappointed at my course of action... but not actually in me. It's a minor difference, but it matters. I'd like to know that our relationship is secure enough that even my worst moments won't shake it or lower his opinion of me. My ideal partner would quide me when I'm misdirected, provide discipline to fortify my weaknesses, but always love me enough to not show any venom when I fail to please.