Crying

[nightowl]

For me, it depends on the reason I'm being spanked......obviously most times I'm not getting spanked for being a bad girl <smile> so I don't usually cry. However,I do cryif I am being disciplined/punished, or unusally stressed and have requested a "spanking to tears" ......very rarely do I REALLY cry (sob). Crying makes me feel cleansed/forgiven and is a hugh emotional release for me when I'm stressed.

rying also puts me in a vulnerable place.......so that is another reason why I don't usually cry during most spanking. Only those whom I trust enough to discipline me, "destress" me would ever have access to that vulnerability to begin with..

[iggy]

I have absolutely zero desire to cry during a spanking (and I just hope that I don't when it happens). Crying makes my face go all blotchy, my eyes swell up, I get all congested so I can't breathe, and I get a headache. That is not my idea of a cleansing feeling at all! No thanks! Boo on crying!

I'm another that doesn't have a desire for discipline. For a long time I kept thinking that I was wrong and just didn't understand what I really wanted and tried to talk myself into the discipline thing because everyone I encountered seemed to think that discipline was the only way to go or that was the only way to be a "true" spanko or that only discipline spankings were "real" spankings. I even ventured down the path in trying to find an online Top and found that when I had people trying to top me that I really resented it. Who were they to be telling me what I could or could not do? It didn't help matters that mainly they were doing it for purposes to suit their interests and what was good for me or my feelings didn't really seem to matter. I've definitely been soured on the whole discipline side of spanking, but for the most part it doesn't appeal to me anyhow.

When I think of spanking I think of it as something fun and sexy and a happy thing. I like the playful banter and stuff.

I do find that online, people just tend to assume that you want/need discipline and it does get tedious, especially when people look at you like you are some sort of alien when you say you don't want a discipline spanking and have no desire for one.

Now there are definitely parts of the discipline side of things that have great appeal to me like the caring and nurturing and someone noticing you and actually caring about what is going on in your life side of things. And, of course, I do tend to find that dominant personality rather sexy. So, of course that just leads me in circles.

Who the heck knows what I ultimately want?

But...I still don't want to cry and for now (and maybe forever) I just want spanking to be something fun and sexy and flirty and not have dark scary disciplinary connotations. I like that the thought of spanking makes me smile and not cringe.

[Adelina]

Me too, iggy. And I know that feeling of someone telling you you're not a real spanko without discipline. I just wanted to have a great time, not worry about trying to let someone feel important by "helping" me, which just makes me want to kick them in the... knees.

[garyspk]

Originally Posted by Adelina

Me too, iggy. And I know that feeling of someone telling you you're not a real spanko without discipline. I just wanted to have a great time, not worry about trying to let someone feel important by "helping" me, which just makes me want to kick them in the... knees.

I'm probably gonna get some grief about this, but as a male spanko for most of my life AND the operator of a spanking video production company, there is nothing that creeps me out more than a male "top" telling a female about how much discipline she needs...or "helping" her with her issues, etc.

I'm all for role play and that type of thing, but there's a real fine line and it's hard to define. But I know it when I see it or hear it.

That's just my opinion. Others are free to act out as they see fit. I'm not judging, but my personal taste does not run that direction.

As Wally once said to The Beav, "It just kinda creeps me out."

[RG_]

Originally Posted by garyspk

...there is nothing that creeps me out more than a male "top" telling a female about how much discipline she needs...or "helping" her with her issues, etc.

I'm all for role play and that type of thing, but there's a real fine line and it's hard to define. But I know it when I see it or hear it.

For me where it divides out is understanding what the girl both wants and needs. There are some, like Adelina, for whom it would be a true violation to do what she says. While being a spanko, her needs are not on the discipline and guidance realm. Others want that guidance and discipline. Along with other things, it actually helps them to be better than they can on their own.

It boils down to the fact that one must have an open mind and understand that the spanking world of others is not necessarily your own spanking world, and to communication. There's no excuse for for assuming what someone else wants or needs.

I have been able to help a couple of women have release. It certainly hasn't only been from hard spanking but from a combination of many factors. After discussions have revealed that crying resulted from dissapointing me, the spanking itself, effective lecturing and scolding and being able to get into these womens heads. Others who haven't cried have been on the verge of tears just haven't gone over the plateau. I recall one other young woman I spanked (19). She cried just from the scolding and lecturing at the begining yet that didn't deter me from administering the spanking that was earned and deserved.

[raavyn]

Once again, i am the oddball, lol. I want, need and crave the discipline aspects of the lifestyle as well as the more fun parts. Other than strictly from pain, though, i haven't been able to cry in years. Some day i hope to get that 'release' that everyone talks about, but i honestly don't see it happening. I don't think i have any emotional tears left.

[RG_]

iggy,

The SSC will be a great spanking "Debutante Ball" for you. Can't wait to meet you there!

(And based on your post, we hope it won't be a "Debutante Bawl." )