self disciplinary spanking

[Farmgirl]

I did this in my early teens. I was no longer being spanked as punishment by my caregiver (my grandmother) but before she had stopped I had noticed I was experiencing a very pleasant tingling sensation in my bottom and genitals after a spanking, so in self-spanking I was trying to duplicate it. The feeling, of course, was erotic, although at the time I could not have understood that. Thus my attempts at self-spanking weren't for punishment, but for erotic reasons.

My bed at the time had an endrail and I would put a pillow on it and bend over. I would twist my vanity mirror so I could see my bottom, then I would take down my jeans and spank myself with a variety of things (the hand doesn't work very well, it 's too awkward) such as an 18-inch ruler or dowel rods. The best thing I found was my great-grandmother's huge old hairbrush, which was more of an heirloom than anything. It was embossed on the back and would leave this awesomely neat pattern in red on my tush! I thought that was just totally neato!

Spanking myself for erotic reasons was never totally satisfactory,I suppose because it was without the interaction of a partner. However it did simulate some of the feeling I was anticipating. I suppose that if one does it to punish oneself, it could be done considerably harder than I did it and the lack of a partner might have been less important. However a normal spanking between two people involves a dominance and submission interplay, a surrendering to authority (M/f to me), and in self-spanking this is absent.