In Loving Memory

[BlackVelvet007]

On Saturday August 4th, 2007, I met a beautiful girl named Michelle. She approached me near the end of OTK night at the local club and, to say the absolute minimum, we hit it off well. Well enough in fact that she came home with me that night.

She lived in King Of Prussia, PA, but after that weekend she started commuting into Manhattan on weekends just to see me.

She had red hair, glasses, and a smile that could melt stone. She was five years older than me but she looked ten years younger than me.

On August 24th, for no reason other than that we could, I accompanied her on a trip down to Washington D.C.

The next day, August 25th, we went to the train and bus station in DC to get me transport home because I had a work shift I couldn't get out of. At the train station, she asked me if the building we were standing in front of had any significance to me. When I said no, she said "Then I'm going to give it some." Turning to look me right in the face, she said "I love you". All I could do was stand there and think to myself, "Dang, she said it FIRST. Well, it's about time ONE of us did." And I kissed her. We were officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

She still lived in King Of Prussia, but she would commute to see me most weekends. I almost never leave Manhattan, and I lost one girlfriend because I wouldn't commute. Michelle had me taking the three hour train ride to King of Prussia on some weekends.

When I dislocated my knee in September of that year, Michelle came up a day early to help me find a physiotherapist for my leg. She patiently sat with me in two doctor offices.

October was an odd month for both of us. She invited me to meet her family, but my work schedule didn't allow it. I bought her a Spartan Queen costume to match my Leonidas costume from "300" for Halloween, but illness kept her stuck at home, and she didn't want me coming to visit when she was sick.

The first week of November, she invited me to be her date for the office Chirstmas party where she worked as a customer service rep. I was ecstatic.

Somewhere along the way something happened.

On Thursday, November 15th 2007 Michelle dumped me via email. Her reasons for doing so are her own and in all honesty I couldn't explain them even if I knew. I was heartbroken. I begged her to take me back, but in the end I honored her wishes and never once spoke poorly of her, though more than one friend tried to console me by saying she wasn't worth it.

At one point, I honestly considered buying this girl an engagement ring. It was only a passing thought, but by God the thought was there.

I took some photos of Michelle while we were in DC. It took me forever to finally download them but I did so in July 2008. I sent her the pics and told her that if she was ever willing to take me back, I would always welcome the opportunity. She responded four days later that while she appreciated the pictures, she was doing ok without me.

On January 1st, 2009, a close friend of hers emailed me saying "We have to talk about Michelle. Please call me at....". For one brief shining moment, I was stupid enough to believe that she was going to tell me that Michelle missed me and wanted me back. I couldn't have been more wrong.

On Christmas Eve of all nights, Michelle engaged in a breath play scene with some bastard named James. Without knowing or wanting the details, the scene went horribly horribly wrong.

Michelle is dead. The bastard who took her life committed suicide soon afterwards. Her friend was contacting me to invite me to her memorial next week.

On AOL I have a file containing every email she ever sent me. I was tempted to delete it a while back but I never could. Now that it's all I have left, I'm glad I didn't.

I'm not posting this to obtain sympathy or condolences (though I know most of you love me enough to send them). This is my eulogy to her, and I just want you to take a moment and say one prayer to whatever God you believe in for this one bright blessed angel who meant the world to me even if all too briefly. She was a beautiful girl who deserved far better than she got in this world. I miss her now more than ever.

[tubaman]

BV,

PLease accept my heartfelt condolences. If there is anything I can say or do to help at this difficult time, please don't hesitate to ask.

You know, why don't these assholes just do the suicide thing and skip the murder part. What a pile of crap!

Hang in there, Friend.

Paul (Tubaman)

[cici]

BV,

I am so sorry and here to offer my condolences.

Take care.

cici

[spankmetender]

I feel so sad for you. grieving is so hard. I will pray for both of you. My heart goes out. peace and best wishes.

BV

You are in thought and prayer. So very, very sorry for your tragic loss.

rb

[Jean-Paul]

BV,
This is terrible news and I know that I can say nothing that would
make this any better.I know what it is to lose a loved one and can
imagine what you are going thru,and to further add to that all the
thoughts of your future together....It is just a terrible thing.
My heart goes out to you,my friend.

Everyone used to tell me that it gets better...and it does..
but with lots of time...but it is meaningless at this point.

You know I am here for you if you need to talk or vent.
My prayers are with you,
Jean-Paul

[naughty1_f_32]

BV,

I am terribly sorry to hear of your loss. No pain is equal to that of heartache and I am sorry you are enduring such pain right now. My thoughts are with you.

love,
cl (naughty1)

[Batman]

That was beautifully written, my friend. I also extend my condolences and I wish there was more we could do than just post things online. Your note on this site may just help save someone else from being abused the same way. We all need to be very careful about whom we decide to meet in real life especially if it's not an organized party with several people present.

[One_Slick_Joker]

Its been a long time since last we spoke BV. I wish our catch up could be under a more amiable atmosphere. I'm sorry for your loss my freind. BV, you deserve many an angel in your life. You are a good man, and I am proud to call you my friend. May 2009 be a year of infinite healing and even greater love for you.



-Jordan

[BlackVelvet007]

I appreciate everyone who posted on this thread.

The memorial was yesterday. When they needed volunteers to read some of Michelle's poetry, I jumped at the chance. When it came time to do tribute speeches, I was first up at the podium. As far as saying goodbye goes, I don't think I could do much better than that.

Thanks again everyone