Vanilla Wife - Be happy with the effort or still want more?

[fourstringdrums]

Hi everyone, I've been signed up for a while but this is my first time posting. I'm a little nervous, especially since I used a name that I use everywhere jut about. Woops

I've been into spanking since I was 3 years old. I never got spanked as a child, and never witnessed any but for some reason I know of them, and just the idea turned me on. I've never been in a spanking relationship, or even dated anyone who even remotely liked to get spanked. I used to spank an ex of mine and she pretty much just laid there and took it for about 30 seconds and then that was it. Another girl actually says she got turned on by it, but I could slap her ass if she was on top of me, and that wasn't what I was looking for.

So then I met my wife who I've been married to for 3 years this coming October 1st. In the beginning she hated spanking. I'd give her a few swats and that would be it. Thankfully though over the years, she seems to enjoy it some more. I can usually spank her for a good 15 minutes or so, but nothing continuous. Just a hard slap or two in a row, rub, do the other cheeck, rub, repeat. She squirms quite a bit and is pretty vocal with her cries and things to let me know that it hurts. But she says that itdoes turn her on a bit now, and she does get wet from it. She's even let me use the belt a few times, but i have to be really really light and she usually only takes a few swats. She hates all other implements.

I asked her if she actually did like spanking or was just letting me do it to make me happy. She says "Yeah, I like it " sort of it an "Yeah, it's ok" tone. She has said the pain she does like a little bit but she has a low threshold.

She's spanked me a few times but always with a brush because it hurts her hand, though she has to be really in the mood to do that.

I know I should be happy that she's made some progress, but I just know that she's not ever thinking "Mmm, I am in the mood for a good spanking". I think she just does it because it's foreplay into sex. When she spanks me she isn't dominating about it at all, and I feel like it bores her a bit.

I really do wish that she did like spanking in some sense of the way that I do, and would initiate me spanking her or her spanking me and show me that she WANTS this.

is that too much to ask or am I being picky and should just be grateful for how things are now? I know some have partners who don't even give it an effort. I could never end my marriage over this, though I sometimes wish I had looked for someone who shared the interest because it's a part of me. But I just want to get the most I can out of what interest she might have.

Any suggestions?

[Chuckles]

Without a shadow of a doubt, you should be very grateful to your wife for the affection she's shown and the efforts she's made to accommodate you. Many vanilla spouses wouldn't do what your wife has already done. Also, be very thankful that she seems to have been honest with you about her reactions to the activities you've tried together. Many spouses wouldn't be that honest.

Should you hope for more? Well, perhaps. After all, the two of you seem to have gently started down the spanking road together, and you've both found at least some enjoyment along the way. It seems to me that extreme patience is the order of the day, though. There are many types of activities that involve spanking, and you've only experienced a few together. Maybe some of the activities you haven't yet tried will prove appealing to your wife if you both agree to try things out very slowly and carefully, with the understanding that if something doesn't work out, you can simply move on and perhaps try other things.

In order to avoid discomfort and turn-offs, you and your wife might consider exploring various types of spanking activities through sharing stories or videos together. That way you could sort of test the waters with your toes to determine if it's worth experimenting "live" with any particular types of spanking activities.

As an aside, don't forget that your wife may also have some favorite activities or fetishes that haven't yet been fully explored. I hope you'll encourage her to share her wishes and fantasies with you so that you can reciprocate.

Overall, be thankful that the two of you have such an open and constructive relationship, and remember that patience and communication will be the keys to your mutual enjoyment. Best wishes!