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Old 06-15-2007, 02:00 PM
Mike Schaeffer's Avatar
Mike Schaeffer Mike Schaeffer is offline
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Lightbulb Are we open minded???

After reading some of the posts on here I wanted to write a little something that was on my mind....

I was sitting here thinking that we always discuss how vanillas or some new spankos don't really understand us, or how they incorrectly judge us. It reminded me that the main reason I came here so that I could share my views and interests with similar people withought being judged. I really don't like when I share my thoughts or feelings with someone and they tell me I'm wrong or perverted or disgusting or foul.

I think that our type of group should be some of the most open minded people anywhere after being criticised and wronfully judged and accused by so many. I would love to think of this as a place where not just dedicated or veteran spankos, but newbies and vanillas who wanted to learn or understand could come in and ask questions and get rational intelligent answers, or maybe even realize that the feelings and thoughts they have aren't weird or wrong.

We all have different levels of play and different "sub categories" of the spanking genre that we enjoy or practice. I know I have variances that some don't share and I'm OK with that, they are after all my feelings, oppinions and style. Many others do things I don't and have varying tastes from my own and I take those without passing judgement.

Basically, even if the views of someone differ from mine there's no reason to make them feel bad about it. When I reach the point where I know everything and I'm always right, I'll be sure to let everyone know, untill then I can still learn a lot even from people who dissagree with me. I think that in here there are no stupid questions from people who want to understand our lifestyle and I for one am happy to try and help people learn who we are and what we're about withought them hating us. If someone says something truly offensive to you, try explaining why they're incorrect and give them the facts they're missing so they can form a more realistic oppinion of you. If someone misjudges me and I do my best to help them better understand the truth and they still don't like me, well they can kiss my hairy white ass, but if I just tell them to piss of they feel justified in their views of us.

I suppose that old saying "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all" applies here. I was welcomed in to the forum and chat with open arms, and for that I'm greatfull, and I'd like to think others can feel that way also. Unless you want future spankos to stay "lurkers", or vanillas that are willing to try and understand us to continue to think we must all be dark and weird, I say do your best to make them feel welcome.
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Old 06-15-2007, 02:32 PM
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Batman Batman is offline
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I think you bring up a very valid point here, Mike. We probably are fairly open-minded and quite willing to share our opinions with others who would like to learn about what we do and how we live.

To address the part about the people who think we're sick and twisted, I can offer some personal experiences there as well. One of my very close friends saw the letters TTWD and asked me what it meant. Trying to play it off, I told her it meant "This Thing We Do". She's such a curious person that she pulled more details from me. So, I told her about spanking and how I met my fiancee through a spanking personals site.

She immediately opened a profile just to see the profile I had as well as my fiancee's. Her boyfriend immediately was disgusted. It didn't alter the friendship level, but, he just didn't want to hear about it. From his point of view, it was wrong to hurt someone you love. The fact my fiancee enjoys being spanked was irrelevant.

My female friend, however, was even more curious and actually played with us briefly. She decided it wasn't for her, but, she is very open about what we do. I can talk to her about it anytime. So, I guess the vanillas are just like us in that respect. They are going to have different degrees of acceptance towards what we do.
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Old 06-15-2007, 05:44 PM
kaylex kaylex is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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Posts: 102
Hey guys

Mike and Batman,
The reason you spoke of is one of the main reasons this forum exsists. Usually we don't have issues with intolerance or ugliness. Lately there has been some one who has posted some not so nice things and the moderator (the great and powerful and ultra-tolerant Gary) has addressed this.

The only other time you will have seen some ugliness is with a said "seal incident" which we are no longer discussing.... and that's all I'm gonna say about that. (wow am I learning to hold my tongue or what?!)

Have fun here. It's a great group of people and if you have ANY problems let Garyspk know, he's here to keep this a safe and fun place! Oh and check out www.amateurspankings.com it's one of the things that keeps us going!

Kaylex
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  #4  
Old 06-15-2007, 09:59 PM
liz liz is offline
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Posts: 17
Mike, thanks for the post. I feel it sort of applies to me when I wrote the post
about submissiveness. 90% of the posts in response were very good, but you know I guess you can't have 100%.

As I think you can tell from my posts I am not exactly experienced in this. Perhaps curious or on the edge might be more apt for me. I might even be so curious, that I never really act on this. But I would like to feel that my posts are welcome here, even if maybe not entirely understanding things.

So I really do appreciate. Esp after getting a literal "go away" post.

--liz

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Schaeffer View Post
After reading some of the posts on here I wanted to write a little something that was on my mind....

I was sitting here thinking that we always discuss how vanillas or some new spankos don't really understand us, or how they incorrectly judge us. It reminded me that the main reason I came here so that I could share my views and interests with similar people withought being judged. I really don't like when I share my thoughts or feelings with someone and they tell me I'm wrong or perverted or disgusting or foul.

I think that our type of group should be some of the most open minded people anywhere after being criticised and wronfully judged and accused by so many. I would love to think of this as a place where not just dedicated or veteran spankos, but newbies and vanillas who wanted to learn or understand could come in and ask questions and get rational intelligent answers, or maybe even realize that the feelings and thoughts they have aren't weird or wrong.

We all have different levels of play and different "sub categories" of the spanking genre that we enjoy or practice. I know I have variances that some don't share and I'm OK with that, they are after all my feelings, oppinions and style. Many others do things I don't and have varying tastes from my own and I take those without passing judgement.

Basically, even if the views of someone differ from mine there's no reason to make them feel bad about it. When I reach the point where I know everything and I'm always right, I'll be sure to let everyone know, untill then I can still learn a lot even from people who dissagree with me. I think that in here there are no stupid questions from people who want to understand our lifestyle and I for one am happy to try and help people learn who we are and what we're about withought them hating us. If someone says something truly offensive to you, try explaining why they're incorrect and give them the facts they're missing so they can form a more realistic oppinion of you. If someone misjudges me and I do my best to help them better understand the truth and they still don't like me, well they can kiss my hairy white ass, but if I just tell them to piss of they feel justified in their views of us.

I suppose that old saying "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all" applies here. I was welcomed in to the forum and chat with open arms, and for that I'm greatfull, and I'd like to think others can feel that way also. Unless you want future spankos to stay "lurkers", or vanillas that are willing to try and understand us to continue to think we must all be dark and weird, I say do your best to make them feel welcome.
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  #5  
Old 06-16-2007, 11:11 AM
garyspk's Avatar
garyspk garyspk is offline
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Location: Dallas, TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Batman View Post
She immediately opened a profile just to see the profile I had as well as my fiancee's. Her boyfriend immediately was disgusted. It didn't alter the friendship level, but, he just didn't want to hear about it. From his point of view, it was wrong to hurt someone you love. The fact my fiancee enjoys being spanked was irrelevant.

My female friend, however, was even more curious and actually played with us briefly. She decided it wasn't for her, but, she is very open about what we do. I can talk to her about it anytime. So, I guess the vanillas are just like us in that respect. They are going to have different degrees of acceptance towards what we do.
Through the years of doing AmateurSpankings, I've noticed just dealing with the models for instance, that females who are unfamiliar with the fetish are much more open and accepting of it than males are. That's kind of a "generality," but overall it's true.

Guys who don't "get" the spanking fetish are very vocal about what sickos we are and how disturbed we are. I've had boyfriends of our models flip out and not allow their girlfriends to participate any more because of that. As you can imagine, that makes me crazy. The girls though are much more accepting and usually come around to the point of at least accepting the fetish and try to understand more about it.
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  #6  
Old 06-16-2007, 11:17 AM
garyspk's Avatar
garyspk garyspk is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaylex View Post
Have fun here. It's a great group of people and if you have ANY problems let Garyspk know, he's here to keep this a safe and fun place! Oh and check out www.amateurspankings.com it's one of the things that keeps us going!

Kaylex
Thanks for the plug, Kaylex. Safe & Fun R Us!
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  #7  
Old 07-05-2007, 12:14 PM
Kate's Avatar
Kate Kate is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Redmond, WA
Posts: 56
They don't quite get it

Quote:
Originally Posted by garyspk View Post
Through the years of doing AmateurSpankings, I've noticed just dealing with the models for instance, that females who are unfamiliar with the fetish are much more open and accepting of it than males are. That's kind of a "generality," but overall it's true.

Guys who don't "get" the spanking fetish are very vocal about what sickos we are and how disturbed we are. I've had boyfriends of our models flip out and not allow their girlfriends to participate any more because of that. As you can imagine, that makes me crazy. The girls though are much more accepting and usually come around to the point of at least accepting the fetish and try to understand more about it.
It's like wanting to see a guy and telling him that I like to be spanked. They don't or won't get it unless they are already in the scene. (I don't like that word, but can't think of another).

Trying to explain to them that being spanked is a really powerful form of foreplay for lme--submissive fantasies, pretending this is being done to me against my will. That it's a game and it's fun and that's usually the last I hear from them, or if we do get together what I want never gets fulfilled.

Men are definitely less open minded about this. Most aren't willing to try, at least from where I've been. I've been forced to find partners in ALT because there are not much in the way of Spanking Clubs in Seattle and I am really picky about my partners anyway.

Just my two cents, that's all
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