Self Abuse I

[Setinkhan]

It was Friday and I had just walked in from playing softball with some guys. It wasn’t very hot for being so late in the summer. I think sometimes summer just grabs a hold of the earth and won’t let go, but then when it does it does slowly but you know it just the same. I think the summer was slowly letting go, and the house was cool upon entering compared to the outside. I was headed for my room when I heard my mother call me.
“Come here young man”, she demanded standing right outside of her room.
It was instant dread hearing those words “young man”. It meant that I had done something wrong and I would be paying for it. I came to her room trying to think of my transgression, while mentally preparing myself for the payment that I would soon be paying. It also meant that I wouldn’t be getting anything to eat, and I was real hungry, but I wondered if I would still be hungry after the lesson. I couldn’t think of anything I had done wrong, but upon seeing mother standing outside of her room I knew that it was bad.
“Is there something wrong mother”, I asked coming to her room.
She replied, “Indeed there is young man, and this is very serious”!
I walked in her room and she closed and locked the door after us, which I can’t remember her doing for a long time, ever since I was a little kid. I wouldn’t consider 13 a little kid anymore, but it did seem very serious. Coming in the room there was her massive bed and standing next to it were my two older sisters Joyce and Janice. Joyce and Janice were twins and were two years older than me. They were always up to something no good, and if they were here they were out to get me somehow. Mother walked over to her bed and picked up a white object off the bed and turned and held it out to me asked me what this was?
I looked at it and told her it was my sock. Things were starting to fall into place and I needed to stall to try and form some kind of defense to answer the charges that I knew would be levied against me soon.
Mother turned to the girls and said, “Oh that’s it. I just knew it had to be something, and now we know. It’s his sock! We should have known”. She whipped back around to me and stuck her face real close to mine saying, “That’s not what I’m talking about and if you don’t start answering my questions you’ll be very sorry young man. Now I’m just going to ask you one more time what is this”?
I knew what it was and I knew what she wanted. I was going to get punished and if I didn’t want to be punished for lying or not answering her questions I had better start standing up for my actions and give her straight answers. “It is my sock that I used to masturbate in, ma’am”.
She rose back and looked sternly at me. The girls were smiling and almost to the point of giggling. I’m sure that soon they would be dismissed but they would try and listen to hear my spanking. I was mentally trying to prepare myself for what I would have to endure soon, trying to figure out if it would be better if I cried out or stayed silent. Sometimes I couldn’t remain silent, but maybe I could try and keep it muffled.
Mother looked at me and then asked, “And how long have we been abusing ourselves”?
I had never heard it put that way before, but I figured out what she meant, and I told her, “about three months”. I also added, “I really didn’t keep track, I just started”.
She continued on with, “Oh and do you have any nudie books cached away that Pantogie (our cleaning lady) may come across while making the beds, cleaning out the closet, or maybe you have them stuck in a drawer somewhere”?
I assured her that I didn’t have any books anywhere and she could check if she wanted to.
She told me that she would indeed in the future, but now she wanted to know the object of my attention while I was abusing myself.
I really didn’t want to tell her, especially with my sisters standing right there. But I knew if I didn’t there would be hell, even more hell than there already was to pay. “Well I thought of my history teacher Ms. Knight (the only teacher that isn’t a nun) and I thought of Debbie”.
“Debbie Dawson”! Exclaimed Joyce, and then both girls started to laugh.
Mother whipped around to them and said they should be quiet and reminded them, “You don’t have a pony in this show my ladies”.
Joyce turned to Mother and defended her excitement, “but mother she is so stout”!
Mother told her that it was just baby fat and that she would lose that and she was sure that she would be a lovely young lady. She then turned back to me and stated well young man, I’m sure that the last time that you abused yourself will be just that, and I shall make sure that it is the last time. She then walked to the waste basket in her room and using the foot pedal raised the lit and then dropped the sock in the small can. The can lid slammed and she turned back to me, and told me to prepare for your punishment.
I don’t know if everyone knows what a prayer desk is but in Catholic homes there are prayer desks that you kneel on to say your prayers. I’m sure that other religions use them also, but I have only seen them in Catholic homes. Mother had a prayer desk that was richly carved and unlike some that I have seen hers was open and didn’t have a solid piece of wood that you rested on when you were kneeling down. Hers was made with a kneeling pad, and two strong legs extending up to support a padded board to rest your hands on while you were praying. When I was much younger I was just bent over the bed, but then I stood on the knee pad, and when I outgrew that I just stood on the floor and bent over the top of the desk. Mother pointed to the desk and I walked over and stood on the opposite side as Mother pointed the way. She went over to her closet and out of the recesses withdrew her paddle that she used. It was just over two feet long and about two inches wide. It seemed very thick and it must have been very old as the varnish on it had yellowed and in the dimming light it kind of glowed.
As Mother walked around my sisters she came and stood next to me. She held the paddle in her hand and lightly patted her other hand. Just the sight of it would start me to shaking. She looked at me and said, “Ok young man let’s drop those trousers”.
I looked at her and then at my sisters, and Joyce and Janice turned and started for the door. Mother interrupted them and told them to stand right there and be a witness to my punishment. I looked at her and I could feel the blood draining from my face as I realized that they not only would listen, but would get to see Mother punish me. She looked at me and then said, “Didn’t I mention something about you dropping your trousers”?
I looked at my sisters and started to unbuckle my belt. Mother stated that maybe the shame of being punished in front my sisters could help her teach me the correct way to act. I was so scared and humiliated that they would be watching. I sneaked a peak at them and it was all they could do to not burst out in laughter. I got my belt unbuckled and then unbuttoned my pants and unzipped them taking as much time as I could. I looked up and looked at my Mother glaring down at me with her paddle in her hand. Finally there was nothing else I could do so I pushed down my pants, and when they cleared my thighs they fell the rest of the way. I moved a little to the desk and started to reach over and, “grab the angels”. Carved on each of the large legs of the desk was an angel and you could cup your hands on them and hold on very nicely.
Just as I was about to bend over my Mother stated, “Hold on young man, we also need to drop those panties (that is what she called my briefs). I looked at her and I was just about in tears. I hung my head in shame as I took a breath and sneaked a look at my sisters. They were about to bust but keeping it all in so that they wouldn’t be sent out of the room. I swallowed and bent over and with my thumbs started to pull my white briefs down. I had to pull them all the way down, and I was so ashamed. I rose back up and I heard one of them giggling and Mother whipped around to them and ordered them to be quiet, and then she turned back to me and said, “Ok let’s grab an angel”!