Novice

I am sexually unexperienced but find myself now getting turned on by fantasies that involve spanking. I imagine them to be erotic not disciplined based. While in thought, they are a real turn-on, I see some of the pictures of spanked bottoms that look scary. Is that the norm for spanking?

How do I even get started to learn about spanking and finding someone to help me with this? I live in a small midwestern city (I call it the deep midwest!).

I'm not particularly young, but as I said very unexperienced. I find my libido has shot through the roof in the last few months. Somedays I can barely function. As a single woman, this is not always the best of situations.

What do other people do?

[Nomad]

I am not sure how young "not particularly young" is, and afraid that with the enexperiance in sexual matters, that you maybe pretty young. I found this as an intrest at an older age, uncommon for most, so I am sure many here can help you.

Midwest, LOL, yes and espesially smaller towns this will be something very hard to learn from your neihborhood. Just be very carefull as you start to explore as there are some people out there who do not take a womans trust in the high regard it should be.

Read and talk with others here. The experiance you can gain from some of the people here will save you much heartache.

Yes some of the pictures did REALLY scare me at first, and some still do. As you discover yourself and maybe even experiance with someone who is loving and caring you find your limits.

Well you've made a good start by joining the forum. This is a great place to talk about the subject, meet like minded folks and perhaps even find a playmate in your part of the country. Could be that there is a spanking club or group nearby that holds periodic parties. That is a great way to get your feet wet in a non-threatening environment.

I would make two recommendations: 1) go at your own pace...don't let anyone hurry you into a session and 2) be safe, be safe, be safe. Don't meet someone in a hotel room or at their home for a first meeting. If your gut tells you that the situation is not safe.....it probably isn't

The members of this forum are some of the best folks you can ever hope to meet. If you have questions or concerns about how to proceed....post a message and you will get plenty of sound advice.

Welcome to the scene.....join us for chat tonight if you feel comfortable doing so.

rangerboy

[lil_dixiedarling]

Welcome newtothis.... I understand where you could be scared and overwhelmed at the same time in the beginning of opening up and exploring this new found passion.

Keep in mind that most of the normal rules of life apply to the spanking world as well.....everyone is different and make sure you keep it safe!!!

As for some of the pictures on the site....some may look very scary especially for someone starting out...and that is completely normal. just keep in mind that the spanking that preceeded the spanking was safe and consensual and that is not the first spanking they received i'm almost 100 percent sure of at this point. I know in the beginning I was a moderate player and had to take it very easy and over time have built up where i have a few photos that would make some cringe....and have even made one or two people cringe that watch me at some parties i've attended.

But bottomline is you have to learn what is best for you just like in life and work from that and see where it takes you.....you have found a great place to reach out for advice and friendship and learn....that is a great first step in finding what will be best for you.

[Batman]

Welcome aboard!! I had a friend once who also was scared by the red bottoms, but, remained curious. Once I spanked her, she saw that the redness could appear to be worse than the sting itself depending on how fair skinned the person is. Just make sure that the person who you allow to spank you knows your limits and takes it slowly to begin with. Good luck.

[wildcard]

Go slow and get to know! Meetings in a public place are the best first choice. Just remember that it is OK to be fulfilled - that is a lesson which everybody on this forum had to learn!
Remember too that consensual and equality go hand in hand - and keep the attitude that you will never be coerced.

[Fafnir]

well im glad that i made the descsion to join this forum the same time someone eles thats not that experinced with the scene did as well. At any rate im a early 20's male thats been intrested in spanking for a while but up until a few days ago hadent discoverd this outlet yet, when i did i was pleasently surprised to find that you were all more understanding and thoughtful then what i prevoisly thought. I look forward to hanging about the forums and gleaning whatever knowledge i may be able to.

And a question... has anyone had trouble finding partners that share the same love for this art that we have for it? cause they do seem few and far between lol.

[lil_dixiedarling]

Originally Posted by Fafnir

And a question... has anyone had trouble finding partners that share the same love for this art that we have for it? cause they do seem few and far between lol.

It can definitely be difficult....and old Murphy's law usually applies you can find lots of partners they are just normally no where near you..... but eventually you will luck out and find someone.