As soon as I saw the blue and red lights in the rear view mirror on Wednesday night I knew I had just guaranteed myself a spanking. I was going 52 in a 25. In PA if you go more than two times the speed limit, your license is automatically suspended. I was very fortunate that the cop cut me a break and wrote me a violation for obedience to traffic control devices with no points. The lawyer would not be so lenient. This would not be the first time I got a spanking for speeding.

I have never really totally broken down and sobbed during a spanking. I get tears and whimper but never broke. Not just with spanking, but in my life in general I have a very difficult time dropping my guard and making myself completely vulnerable. I usually wear a thong when the lawyer spanks me and feel more protected even though my bottom is exposed for the spanking. I decided to wear regular white cotton panties for this spanking. I was making a conscious decision to make myself drop my guard. I didn’t realize how much of a difference it would make.

The drive to his office was worse than usual. I was so nervous about having to pull my panties down and be totally bare for him. In the car I could feel tears welling three separate times when I thought about it. I almost regretted making this decision. When I got to his office I was more nervous than I had been in a while. It was almost as bad as the very first time he spanked me. I wanted to back down. I couldn’t concentrate on anything he was saying. I think we talked for about 20 minutes and I couldn’t tell you one thing we talked about. I put my speeding ticket on his desk.

“We have discussed this before” he had that tone in his voice. The tone that tells me this is no longer regular conversation. This tells me there is a spanking in the very near future.
“I know.” I couldn’t look at him. It’s so embarrassing to be scolded when I know better.
“And what did I say would happen if you did that again”
“It would be harder”
“Guess its going to be harder. Come here and pull your pants down”

I wanted to cry. I wanted to leave. I really wanted to keep my panties on. I knew he would not go for that, but a girl about to be spanked sometimes doesn’t use the best judgment. I pushed only my jeans to my knees. He said it again. “Pull your pants down.” I shook my head and tried to stall. I think I even asked if I could keep them on. “Pull your pants down now.” The tone in his voice told me I didn’t have much of a choice but to give in. I pushed my panties to my knees. I don’t even know the last time I felt that vulnerable. I seemed like forever before I was over his knee, and was actually more comfortable lying across his lap.

He started the spanking with his hand. The sting kept building and the longer he spanked the more it stung. I knew it was only going to get worse. He told me to hand him the paddle. (While searching for the cracker barrel paddle on eBay I came across a vintage paddle ball game that I got instead.) I can’t explain to you how much that paddle hurt. I was crying after just a few swats. He was scolding me about speeding and how dangerous it was. The paddle was so loud and hurt so bad I could only half hear what he was saying. He paused for a few seconds at one point. I thought it was a break, but I guess he was waiting for an answer to a question that I defiantly did not hear. I was concentrating so hard on trying to handle the spanking, that I didn’t even hear him. The spanking seemed to last forever. My bottom hurt so bad, and I was hoping that it looked as bad as it felt so maybe he would feel bad and stop spanking me. No such luck for this girl. He told me to stand up. I was shaking. I didn’t even really notice that I was totally vulnerable. My poor hurting bottom was the forefront of my thoughts. He told me to put my hands on the chair. I already had tears and was crying softly. I was so sorry already. He stood to my left side and I didn’t know if I could handle it. He was pushing me beyond what he had before. Then he told me to ask him for the spanking. I couldn’t do it. I felt like if I spoke I would totally break down sobbing. I didn’t say a word. He grabbed me around the waist. I was at a total loss of control. He spanked me again, and hard. He told me again to ask for it. I put my head against my arm and was sobbing quietly. I muttered I can’t. He spanked me even harder. I couldn’t take it anymore. I surrendered. “Fine Fine.” I attempted to take a deep breath before I asked “May I please have a spanking? He spanked and I cried. Then he asked me “how many more?” I was to pick how many more until it was over. I didn’t have any idea. If I said one, which is what I wanted to say, I didn’t know if he would go for that. I said I don’t know, and I got spanked more. I know from experience that he will stand his ground, and eventually I will cave to him, so its better to give in sooner than later. I have always been able to talk my way out of trouble, or make the consequences not as bad as they should be. I have never been able to do this with the lawyer. I knew I would just make it worse for myself if I didn’t pick a number. I figured ten was a safe and even number. I didn’t think he could spank any harder, but for the last ten he did. When it was over, I rested my head on his shoulder and got a very comforting hug. I felt almost conquered. I wiped all of the tears off my face and really felt so much better after that spanking. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it all weekend. Not just because I feel it every time I sit, but because he has the ability to get inside my head, hold me to a higher standard, and give me a very real spanking if I don’t.