Aurora,

This is a forum for the exchange of ideas. To borrow a line from Samuel L. Jackson in "Pulp Fiction"....."Oh were you finished? Well allow me to retort."

Safe: I have preached time and again on the importance of safety and respect. It is the bedrock principle that should guide this or any other fetish play. I have a good friend...someone who was just getting into the scene who made the error of meeting someone from out of town in a hotel room. I will not go into the details of a very sad story. She was traumatized for weeks. Much as a bottom would like to relinquish control....personal safety has to prevail.

Sane: I resent the implication that someone with this kink is somehow "not normal." We have struggled against that perception from the vanilla world for years. Are there manic depressives, psychotics, socio-paths, anxiety disorder etc. people in the scene? I suppose so but certainly in no greater percentage than a bridge club or bowling team. We practice a fetish that we enjoy. I for one do NOT enjoy inflicting pain. The scene is about playing, reverting to childhood, escape, relaxation and about a thousand other reasons. I have administered very few disciplinary spankings and I didn't enjoy any of them. My wife suffers from migraines. I suppose if I liked to see people in pain I could flash the lights and crank up the Rolling Stones. Instead I make our home a dark, quiet place...place cool clothes on her forehead and sit up beside her until she finally falls asleep....sound like a sadist to you?

Consensual: I wish we had a portable meter that would indicate: "Spanko...wants spanking....will not ask for one.....proceed to blister behind....pay no attention to protests." I'll ask the gang in the Research and Development Lab to get right on that....meanwhile...how else are we to know? If you are at a spanking party it is a pretty good indication that you aren't there to play scrabble but how is a Top to know that your "no" is really a "yes" unless you communicate?

I understand that you would love someone to simply decide that you were due for a spanking and take you in hand without heed to your protests....but Aurora.....unless you can find a special Top that will accept that arrangement...party play is just not the place to expect it.

Warm regards,

rangerboy