[iggy]

I have absolutely zero desire to cry during a spanking (and I just hope that I don't when it happens). Crying makes my face go all blotchy, my eyes swell up, I get all congested so I can't breathe, and I get a headache. That is not my idea of a cleansing feeling at all! No thanks! Boo on crying!

I'm another that doesn't have a desire for discipline. For a long time I kept thinking that I was wrong and just didn't understand what I really wanted and tried to talk myself into the discipline thing because everyone I encountered seemed to think that discipline was the only way to go or that was the only way to be a "true" spanko or that only discipline spankings were "real" spankings. I even ventured down the path in trying to find an online Top and found that when I had people trying to top me that I really resented it. Who were they to be telling me what I could or could not do? It didn't help matters that mainly they were doing it for purposes to suit their interests and what was good for me or my feelings didn't really seem to matter. I've definitely been soured on the whole discipline side of spanking, but for the most part it doesn't appeal to me anyhow.

When I think of spanking I think of it as something fun and sexy and a happy thing. I like the playful banter and stuff.

I do find that online, people just tend to assume that you want/need discipline and it does get tedious, especially when people look at you like you are some sort of alien when you say you don't want a discipline spanking and have no desire for one.

Now there are definitely parts of the discipline side of things that have great appeal to me like the caring and nurturing and someone noticing you and actually caring about what is going on in your life side of things. And, of course, I do tend to find that dominant personality rather sexy. So, of course that just leads me in circles.

Who the heck knows what I ultimately want?

But...I still don't want to cry and for now (and maybe forever) I just want spanking to be something fun and sexy and flirty and not have dark scary disciplinary connotations. I like that the thought of spanking makes me smile and not cringe.