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Seems to me like this is the sort of situation where a safeword (combined with mutual trust between the participants) ought to be able to smooth the way. If the spanker and spankee can trust each other sufficiently, the spanker shouldn't be disturbed by tears, so long as the safeword hasn't been used. Many spankees truly want to shed tears; it's a valuable release of pent-up tension for them.
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