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This is hard, and I've been in the same place except on the other end I had a gf who wasn't capable of causing me pain but wanted to do the whole spanking thing because I liked it. I learned to accept that she was only ever going to be so rough and I cared for her enough that it didn't matter. In a relationship people have to make concessions. people assume that just because one person is dominant they call all the shots, but the truth its usually the submissive who is the demanding leader. I feel your frustration maybe you can concede to go hard on her one night out of ten or once a month or something you can live with. And if you can't be rough at all then tell her. don't let one aspect of your sexual relations ruin everything. try other things like bondage or roleplay and find something else she gets off on, most folks who are a little masochistic or kinky have more than on get off if they know it yet or not. They usually just strongly prefer one thing over another.
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