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This an old thread, but being new here I thought I'd chime in.
I've been with my wife for 6 years and I'd say for 5 of those years she absolutely hated being spanked. Over the past year she's started to warm up to the idea, but only for forplay, and wasn't into being submissive, and then spankings were rather light and I felt like she was doing it more for me than because she actually liked it. She'd tell me she liked it, but her body language and other things made me feel otherwise.
Well recently, like within the last week, things hit a head where I felt like I NEEDED to have this connection with my partner. It's not just a fetish, it's a phsycal dynamic for me, and I felt like if she wasn't into it, I didn't know how this relationship would work. It's more than that just though that, I'd never break up with someone over something like this, but we were lacking any real connection or bond to begin with so that made things worse.
So finally I hit the edge and told her some really difficult things to say and we had the best discussion and opening up that we've ever had. To put the other points we were working on aside, I brought up spanking again, and she said "I DO like it, you just don't believe me when I say I do". I said "You don't act like you like it. A few hard slaps and you're ready to get off my lap, and afterwards, it's like never happened and seems to mean nothing to you. Your demeanor doesn't change afterward. So she says "Well If I hated it, I'd tell you, and I wasn't trying to get up, I was squirming, and it's YOUR job to pin me down".
So after talking more, she DOES like being submissive for a spanking, wants to try domestic discipline, and stress relief/maintenance spankings. She said a few things though:
1) It took her years to get used to the idea.
2) Part of why she didn't warm up to it quicker is because she was afraid that it would be the only thing I'd want, or we HAD to have it as forplay before sex etc..
3) She was afraid I'd want to spank her daily and be upset if she didn't want that.
To me all those concerns are reasonable. I think all spankos have some limits as far as how often they are spanked and in what context, and I was glad she shared that with me. The most important thing is that it's something we connect with and understand together. She must have done her research because when I talked about domestic discipline and submitting etc.. she already knew what I was talking about.
The only night I tested her limits more than I ever have with a hard hand spanking, the belt, and a blind rod. She loved it and I could tell, but not until afterwards. The only thing was she hated the blind rod because well I have no experience with it and either didn't warm her up properly, didn't use correct form or just hit her too damn hard beause she wound up with some nasty bruises. The bruises and the strokes that caused the bruises are what she hates about it..other than that, she liked it she said.
A big part of it is, I'm letting her spank me too. I've kinda always been a switch, but I think that's a fair balance of power for both of us and it maks herfeel more comfortable.
Now I don't know if I can all my wife a "spanko". She said she doesn't think about it much, mostly beause she has other things on her mind on a daily basis, and while she might look at website with me, she wouldn't go on her own to look.
But if by definition she's not a true spanko, she's right behind the line of being one.
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