Hi,
I am new hear and have just been looking around and noted your comments. I am a young 42 and have had spanking experiences too many to mention. the one thing that has beenvery important is your first gut feeling about the person who is going to or who you woulf like to spank you. You have to have that feeling of trust that you will be treated with respect and not be abuse. Whatever type of spanking you feel is best for you I'm sure you will find someone in sympathy with your wishes. I have had some fairly gentle spankings which brought me to tears because of the mood I was in and because of the person spanking and the way I was admonished (after confessing to my misdemeanours). So it doesn't have to be a severe spanking to give you what you want - mind you it usually has to be done on the bare bottom for full effect.
Keep looking.