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The Issue of Holding Position

For several weeks now this issue of my "holding position" has been bantered about here and on other message boards. I feel a need to speak out about it and ask other spanko's what their experiences and feelings are on this topic.

I do not try to break position or even really think about it. I find that moving around through stomping my feet or standing up or pounding my fists on the mattress or bench is a way for me to process what is happening in the moment. I am not a masochist by any means, as I have discussed before. For me, spanking is about power exchange and accountability. So, I do not necessarily find the pain pleasurable. When I experience the pain, it helps me somehow to physically move as a way to physically and emotionally process it and release it. Asking me to stand perfectly still during a paddling, or not to squirm around or kick when I am OTK for a good hand spanking is like asking me to hold my breath for an extended period of time...very difficult!

On Friday night while standing bent over that bench for those 10 swats with Poppa's paddle, I had to force myself to not move with every ounce of will power in my body. My palms were sweating from the sheer intensity of trying not to move. For me it actually takes away from the experience of the spanking because I am so focused on staying still I cannot really be present in the moment for the true experience of the actual spanking. Does anyone else relate to that?

So, I know and understand the purpose of holding position; for safety reasons, and for learning self-control and discipline...however, I contend there is also a place for being free to experience the spanking in the moment and react and respond to in a natural fashion. Whatever that may be for the person involved.

So, there is my story and I would love to hear other peoples ideas, feelings and experiences related to this issue.

My dear Dr. D I will work on holding position for you, sometimes a girl has just got to move!

Veronica

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veronica Daniels (Post 3017)

... For me it actually takes away from the experience of the spanking because I am so focused on staying still I cannot really be present in the moment for the true experience of the actual spanking. Does anyone else relate to that?
... I contend there is also a place for being free to experience the spanking in the moment and react and respond to in a natural fashion. Whatever that may be for the person involved.
Veronica

This makes very much sense to me. I have the same reasoning about counting--it's not a natural response and is distracting, much like trying to hold a position. I would be interested to hear from people who do find it truly helpful to have to stay in place, and why they find it helpful. For me, such requirements remove a vital aspect of the experience, the ability to completely let go and just feel what's going on, and make it all much less satisfying.

I actually find much more freedom in being restrained (manually or mechanically) and knowing that even if I wanted to move, I couldn't... or in just doing whatever seems to be natural at the time. If someone asked me to not move a muscle and imposed a penalty for doing so, then I probably would choose not to play with that person again. There's nothing wrong with it per se, just doesn't run my motor.

Honestly I don't know of a time I've ever been able to hold completely still for more than a few swats. I'm talking about hard spanking, not a warm up. Even if I've been told to "hold still" I eventually squirm or jump. I've never done it out of defiance, I just am very responsive. I've never been penalized for breaking position as of yet. I know, shocking huh ? What floats my boat might sink someone elses, but I prefer some leniancy when I can't be still.

Quote:

Originally Posted by spanked~amber (Post 3022)

What floats my boat might sink someone elses, but I prefer some leniancy when I can't be still.

So noted. ;) I don't know too many spankers who don't appreciate some reaction (squirming, yelps, etc). I think for most spankers, if you're lying there completely 100% still, then the spanker isn't doing the job right.

Personally, I believe it is unreasonable to expect absolute silence and/or non movement during a spanking. I can understand not allowing excessive movement - one that could pose a danger to the spankee if a swat (especially with a heavy implement) lands somewhere other than its target - or even movement such as trying to get away, etc.

Spanking is painful and the body reacts involuntarily to pain. It's natural.

Besides, how does a Top know how well he is getting thru without all those little squeals and wriggling? Besides, the Top is the one who is supposed to be 'in control', not me!

sarah

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veronica Daniels (Post 3017)

I find that moving around through stomping my feet or standing up or pounding my fists on the mattress or bench is a way for me to process what is happening in the moment.

No doubt.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veronica Daniels (Post 3017)

I am not a masochist by any means, as I have discussed before. For me, spanking is about power exchange and accountability. So, I do not necessarily find the pain pleasurable. When I experience the pain, it helps me somehow to physically move as a way to physically and emotionally process it and release it. Asking me to stand perfectly still during a paddling, or not to squirm around or kick when I am OTK for a good hand spanking is like asking me to hold my breath for an extended period of time...very difficult!

And rather boring from this top's perspective as well. I mean, one might as well ask the object of their lust to hold their breath, lie perfectly still and utter not a single sound when being made love too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veronica Daniels (Post 3017)

I contend there is also a place for being free to experience the spanking in the moment and react and respond to in a natural fashion. Whatever that may be for the person involved.

Within limits of course. Putting your hands over your butt is a definite no no in this man's book.

All kidding aside, there is of course no "right" or "wrong" way to be spanked. It's all about what works for the people involved and finding out for sure oftentimes necessitates humoring one's partner in crime ;)

As a spanker, I PREFER for a woman to wiggle and squirm, as well as protest, during a spanking, paddling, etc. Otherwise, I might as well me spanking a statue or a manniquen.

The only trouble is that when paddling a woman who is in a bent over position, you have to be careful not to miss the target if she's moving around too much. So when this happens, I always pause until she has regained her composure, steadied herself and gotten repositioned for the next lick.

I personally think it would be just short of immpossible to hold position rigidly for an extended time period. I feel that the command to "hold position" is another of those highlights or enhancements to a scenario. As a Top, I may stand there poker faced, threatening extra stokes for moving, yet I know all along that it would be very hard for the spankee not too. and yea...I like to see the wiggling and squirming anyways ;)

Gary D.

I think that wiggling and squirming add to the experience. Each has there own way of "experiencing" a spanking and shloud be allowed to get the most out of it. I feel that moving should be allowed unless there is a specific why not. All depends on what is best for the individuals and the experience.

What you define as "holding position" can vary, also. For reasons already well explained, I also think it's unreasonable to expect perfect stillness. However, limits on movement (no standing up, keeping hands in front, etc.) can be imposed that allow room for reaction without being disruptive of the process. Not that even those are easy to always observe, but getting them to do so falls within the realm of reasonableness, firmness, and possibility to obey.