myspankingforum.com Forums - Lost & Found Part 1

It was no suprise that Aubrey was late for her session yet again. She didn't really feel as if talking about her past was getting her anywhere except deeper in debt. That is until the day her counselor asked her a very thought prevoking question.
"Aubrey, since the death of your parents was at such a young age, who have you looked to for guidance ?"
She looked down at her hands which were now fidgeting in her lap and softly replied;
"I guess no one really. I was 16 when they died, so I had to move in with my aunt. She was never home really, we weren't close but she did her best to take care of my needs. I had a place to call home at least."
"I'm sure that was quite an adjustment, how did you handle that time of your life ?
Her eyes began to water and she held back the tears that had been trying to surface for the past 7 years.
"I tried not to think about my parents being gone. I was angry, I felt very alone. I did a lot of irresponsible things just to get my mind off of being lonely."
"What were you feeling when you made choices to act irresponsibly ?"
"uhmm sort of lost really. I never felt better afterwards though, I felt worse. I knew that my actions didn't really matter much to anyone."
"That's a pretty normal feeling Aubrey. Had you have been held accountable for your actions do you think that would have made a differance ?"
She nodded slowly before answering.
"I think I would have felt cared for even if I didn't like the process of being held accountable. Does that make any sense ?"
"It makes perfect sense. It is only natural that you respond to missing your parents, perhaps the loss of guidance is a part of your feeling lost ?"
She had never really thought of it that way, but it made the whole picture begin to come together in her mind. It was as if the puzzle was finally begining to to be solved.
"I don't know what to do about it now, it's too late to undo my actions since my parents have been gone."
With her head bowed, Aubrey felt sudden remorse for the way she had behaved over the last 7 years. She knew she had let her life get out of control, but had no idea how to fix it.
She looked up to see her counselor writing. She wondered if he was writing that there was no hope for her. Instead he tore the piece of paper from the pad and handed it to her.
"I've already tried medication, it helps some but..."
He stopped her and said;
"This isn't another prescription, at least not the kind you think. All I ask is that you promise not to read it until you have left this office. Do you think you could do that for me ?"
She nodded and tucked the paper into her purse as she stood. As she thanked him and left, she decided to keep her promise and waited until she had reached her car in the parking lot to take out the piece of paper. Puzzled she read; online guidance along with an attached web address.

To be continued...