Hello from SC
 

Posting for the 1st time.

Under a made-up name of course. Couldn't bear to have anyone know of this little spanking fetish that I have. Heck it took 13 yrs to tell my husband. Im 33.

I guess Im half-vanilla/half spankee. A lot of the pics on here look way to severe for anything I would want to endure.

Anyway Im saying hi and hoping to learn something here. What Im not sure. Like how to get to dear hubby to be a little better at this without being critical. After all, its my fetish not his. (Although I think he enjoys it a little and just doesnt want to admit it). :)

Welcome to MSF, cassie, from a former South Carolinian (by residence, not birth). A great state that you have, there.

Glad to have you on the group cassy....don't worry about the pics that look too severe...like with everything in life this kink is varied by person and their tolerances. What some may consider light patty cake is just the right intensity for others and there are always Tops/spankers that will accomodate the different needs of the bottoms/spankees.

Sherie

Welcome aboard. Nice talking to you in chat. I think you'll like it here. :)

Cassygray, it's good to have you here. You are definitely in good company. A lot of us have had the same issues. And as far as the severity of the pix, it's definitely a "whatever floats your boat" thing.

Hope you enjoy it here!

Welcome cassygray, its good to have a fellow South Carolinian with us!

Thank u all for the warm welcome!

hehe be careful about the warm part in the welcome Cassy.....the Tops around here might get confused as usual and make some spanking reference to that one......

Sherie

Welcome aboard! Glad you're here!

Ha! I see your point. :o

hello cassy welcome to the forum. this is a great bunch of folks you will like it here.

emily

Ok I've checked ya all out over the past few days and I feel like I can share here so here it goes. (where the heck else could I share this stuff? - lol)

Been married 13yrs. Ill be 33 this year. We have 1 3yr old daughter.

I reveiled to hubby just last year, my spanking fetish. Yeah I know, I waited too long. But really I was just too embarrassed to mention it. He's a "straight arrow" kind of fellow.

Anyway, he's trying really. It hurts a lot more than I thought it would! But thats quite all right. Thing is we've only tried it a handful of times. And during the whole thing he is constantly asking me if he's doing this or that correctly and/or if I want him to stop.

Smack smack. you ok?
Smack smack. want me to stop?
smack smack. are u horny yet?

me: Aw just forget it!

Bless him for trying but the whole point is for HIM to be in control NOT ME! Am I being a baby here? He doesnt get it and I know I should be thankful that he's even trying at all.

Ok so shy-girl spilled. Be gentle with me.

Well cassygray,

I don't envy you being in the position of being a "coach" to your husband. But you'll find we have plenty of experience dealing with vanilla partners on this forum. Hope we can be of help!

Cassygray, I don't know if it possible for a vanilla to ever "get it" the way we do. But you've already broken the ice which is the hardest part. So I would advise you not to give up and be patient with him. It may take a while, but if you continue to coach him, talk openly about it, tell him what he's doing right or wrong and offer constructive criticism he may eventually surprise you, and himself.

Its quite possible that he'll never fully understand all of this. But most men love a woman's ass and can get very aroused by giving attention to it in any way, shape or form. So who knows? If you keep going with the trail and error method, in time, he may just get the hang of it after all. Either way, I think its worth the effort and salute you for taking the initative for your efforts. I wish you all the luck in the world. Keep us posted of your progress.

yeah I'm not sure if he'll ever really "get it" completely. I do give him credit for trying, which is why I hate to be critical.

He's definately an ass-man so thats a plus in my favor. Problem is he wants to rub it and grab it instead of smack it. lol. :o

Welcome cassy.

I laughed when I read your story, because it was a lot like mine. Except I didn't have a daughter, and I never said forget it. Usually by that point, I was hot as a firecracker and couldn't form words! :D

My advice is be patient. You've tackled the toughest part - telling him. Boy, was that ever scary. But I believe he will get better in time. It definitely won't be overnight, but as well as he's doing this early on, he'll get there.

Be very careful not to criticize him. That will put you two steps back.
Complements and appreciation will get you much further.

At least, that's what worked with me.

Good luck, CG, and remember - patience, patience, patience!
(yeah, not my strong point either!)

Terry

I'm one, too, but I like ALL of that! :D

Work on him and talk to some others here. If it's not in their core, they may never get beyond their (boring ;) ) vanilla persona, but I know of several vanilla hubby's/partners who do a great job of accommodating the kink, and are happy to do so.

Im new here too
 

New to this site too, so welcome and I hope we both find what we are looking for!

Where have my manners been ? Hope it's not too late to say welcome to you both Cassy & Sapperphil. http://www.v-rodforums.com/forums/im...es/welcome.gif

Welcome cassygray and sapperphil..... cassy hopefully it will all turn out good for you. Can always bring him to parties...and teach him that way. ;)

Welcome Cassy!

You are on the right track. One thing to remember is that as a new spanker he is paraniod that he will hurt you. That is not a bad thing! :)

I think Terry said it best - Patience and priase what he does do that you like! Positive re-enforcement.

One other avenue to try is find a spanking story that really fits what you would like to experience. Then share it with him and tell him you really like this story! That way he can read the story on his own and kinda digest it away from you and sorta come to the conclusion that you are throwing him a hint! Hopefully he takes the hint anyway! You know us guys can be kinda dense sometimes.

Sometimes that is easy than the face to face.

As for the pictures I think you will find that as you go along you tend to build up a tolerance for spanking. This tolerance builds at a different rate for everyone and some start with this really high tolerance etc. Others will have a bottom that marks or reddens alot more easily than others so it shows more. And some just love a good long hard and severe spanking! Like most things in life different strokes for different folks!~

You will find that everyone is accepted for what they like and not pushed into what they do not. And if you find yourself with or around people that do not then do yourself a favor and stay away.

Jut my $.02

Puck