The Issue of Holding Position
 

This makes very much sense to me. I have the same reasoning about counting--it's not a natural response and is distracting, much like trying to hold a position. I would be interested to hear from people who do find it truly helpful to have to stay in place, and why they find it helpful. For me, such requirements remove a vital aspect of the experience, the ability to completely let go and just feel what's going on, and make it all much less satisfying.

I actually find much more freedom in being restrained (manually or mechanically) and knowing that even if I wanted to move, I couldn't... or in just doing whatever seems to be natural at the time. If someone asked me to not move a muscle and imposed a penalty for doing so, then I probably would choose not to play with that person again. There's nothing wrong with it per se, just doesn't run my motor.

Honestly I don't know of a time I've ever been able to hold completely still for more than a few swats. I'm talking about hard spanking, not a warm up. Even if I've been told to "hold still" I eventually squirm or jump. I've never done it out of defiance, I just am very responsive. I've never been penalized for breaking position as of yet. I know, shocking huh ? What floats my boat might sink someone elses, but I prefer some leniancy when I can't be still.

So noted. ;) I don't know too many spankers who don't appreciate some reaction (squirming, yelps, etc). I think for most spankers, if you're lying there completely 100% still, then the spanker isn't doing the job right.

Personally, I believe it is unreasonable to expect absolute silence and/or non movement during a spanking. I can understand not allowing excessive movement - one that could pose a danger to the spankee if a swat (especially with a heavy implement) lands somewhere other than its target - or even movement such as trying to get away, etc.

Spanking is painful and the body reacts involuntarily to pain. It's natural.

Besides, how does a Top know how well he is getting thru without all those little squeals and wriggling? Besides, the Top is the one who is supposed to be 'in control', not me!

sarah

No doubt.


And rather boring from this top's perspective as well. I mean, one might as well ask the object of their lust to hold their breath, lie perfectly still and utter not a single sound when being made love too.


Within limits of course. Putting your hands over your butt is a definite no no in this man's book.


All kidding aside, there is of course no "right" or "wrong" way to be spanked. It's all about what works for the people involved and finding out for sure oftentimes necessitates humoring one's partner in crime ;)

As a spanker, I PREFER for a woman to wiggle and squirm, as well as protest, during a spanking, paddling, etc. Otherwise, I might as well me spanking a statue or a manniquen.

The only trouble is that when paddling a woman who is in a bent over position, you have to be careful not to miss the target if she's moving around too much. So when this happens, I always pause until she has regained her composure, steadied herself and gotten repositioned for the next lick.

I personally think it would be just short of immpossible to hold position rigidly for an extended time period. I feel that the command to "hold position" is another of those highlights or enhancements to a scenario. As a Top, I may stand there poker faced, threatening extra stokes for moving, yet I know all along that it would be very hard for the spankee not too. and yea...I like to see the wiggling and squirming anyways ;)

Gary D.

I think that wiggling and squirming add to the experience. Each has there own way of "experiencing" a spanking and shloud be allowed to get the most out of it. I feel that moving should be allowed unless there is a specific why not. All depends on what is best for the individuals and the experience.

What you define as "holding position" can vary, also. For reasons already well explained, I also think it's unreasonable to expect perfect stillness. However, limits on movement (no standing up, keeping hands in front, etc.) can be imposed that allow room for reaction without being disruptive of the process. Not that even those are easy to always observe, but getting them to do so falls within the realm of reasonableness, firmness, and possibility to obey.

I agree with most of what's been said here. To me, spanking is a physical and emotional activity. Being told to stay in position for, say, 12 swats with a particular implement is one thing, but to be expected to be still for the whole experience would ruin it for me.

Luckily, my partners have felt the same. That the best part of a long spanking filled with banter and the exchange of control and the times when a partner pushes you farther than you thought you could go...it's exhilarating, and you express it with your voice, body, mind, etc. There's nothing better when you both collapse at the end of a good spanking...both exhausted and content.

I try very hard, usually with success, to keep my hands out of the way, but I do get vocal and sometimes kick and squirm. During a particularly hard strapping recently, I started (involuntarily) moving out of the way of the strap. My spanking partner said "Get back over those pillows before I pull you back" in that incredible Dom tone. Now, if I kept position all the time, I'd have missed out on hearing that tone, and he'd have missed out on watching me do as I was told.

I think that holding position thing is over-rated.

IF THE GIRL ISN'T WIGGLING,CRYING ETC IT JUST ISN'T FUN. And I'm going to just be honest here and admit that even if it's discipline I enjoy spanking girls.
hot-spanker

I basically agree with what has been said here. My husband rarely requires me to hold still at all. He clearly enjoys my wiggling and yelping, and I like that he enjoys it.

That being said, for me, my response to holding position depends on the type of spanking. I've never been required to hold position for a punishment, at least not completely. I'm sure if I tried to get up off his lap, or off the arm of the couch, I would've heard that dom tone that Sassy Sandy was talking about. That kind of movement would be more than an involuntary response; it would be defiance. I have never and would never be defiant to my husband during a punishment. He's always been reasonable about what is a punishable offense, and I've always been remorseful about whatever I've done. I try to accept and take the punishment the best that I can. But wiggling and kicking is something that I can't help, and during a punishment especially, I think my husband uses my physical response to gauge how much the punishment is getting through. Punishment spankings have always been the hardest for me to take, not because they are any harder, but because they are so much more emotional to me. If I had to hold completely still, I wouldn't be able to think about why I was being punished, or process what was going on at the moment. I think it would make the punishment ineffective.

I occasionally get therapeutic spankings. I got one the other day because I've been so stressed about a number of things that have been going on lately that I've been having trouble coping. I have a very difficult time crying; when I get too stressed, my body responds by getting sick and making me incapable of eatting well or sleeping. Anyway, I got one of these spankings a few days ago, and it was very effective. It was a handspanking, and I was sobbing by the fifth swat. Although handspankings from my husband hurt, I wasn't crying from the pain. I don't think I've ever cried from pain. The spanking pushed me over the edge, just as I needed it to, and I was releasing all of my stress. I noticed, however, that I didn't wiggle at all during the spanking, no matter how much it hurt. I went limp and just sobbed. I was so much in my own head that what was happening to my bottom almost felt distant to me, almost like it was happening to another person. Does that make sense? Anyhow, my point is that during this kind of spanking, I do not feel the need to move the way I need to during a punishment spanking.

The only time that my husband and I have played with holding position is during playful spankings. I think this was more about power exchange, and my ability to submit to him. I enjoy submitting to him more when it is something that I have to put a little effort into. For example, a couple weeks ago, my husband asked me to ask for a spanking. He told me that he wanted to hear me say, "spank me." A simple request, but that is something I've never done before, and until then, he'd never heard me say the word "spank" out loud. It is something that I still have trouble with. But submitting to him like that, doing something that was a little difficult and embarrassing to me, was surprisingly sexy. So in this way, holding position has also been sexy for me. He'll tell me that I am to hold a certain position during a spanking, and we both know (although it is never said) that he's going to spank me until I am forced to break position, and then some penalty is imposed. It is all in play though, and because it is play, and because I am putting effort into submission, it is quite pleasurable for me.

Anyhow, I suppose I've rambled enough. Thanks for reading.

There have been some dynamite posts on this thread. Thanks for sharing all your views. :) keep this going if you can

I sort of like it when Ann wiggles and covers. I'll usually tell her that she better not move, which is just about impossible when you get 20+ full force swats with a heavy paddle. In short, when she rolls on her side and grabs her bottom with both hands, I love it. ;)

Bryan

holding position..
 

Well some would say I'm a bit TOO stoic. I am generally not going to be TOLD to hold position as I'm normally not going to move. In fact I think the bigger Top/Bottom dynamic for people who are playing with me is to get to the point of GETTING to a reaction.

That said I agree the being told to hold position, or count takes away from the spanking itself. However if the spanking is just an extension of the of a lesson trying to be taught then it can have merit.

And let's not forget what a great dynamic it adds to roleplay!

All that said i actually have been asked by someone TO react. After about two minutes of it I asked if I could stop.....LOL

To each their own!
Kaylex

I agree with most of what I read here and this especially. I never truly expect a spankee to hold their position because if they could I wouldn't be spanking properly. It's more the attempt to follow the rules and be disciplined. And I, like so many other spankers, need that yelping, squirming, sobbing and kicking to make it complete. If there was no reaction at all I'd be worried something was wrong. It's the cussing or excessive kicking or screaming out that break the rules for holding position.

believe it or not im not always able to hold my position either lol.. especially when wood is involved :eek:

If being told to hold position is for mental effect, then I am all for it. A Top saying, "you better not move!" - knowing full well she will be moving, but it's the "oh no! I moved" feeling that a bottom can get after having squirmed, and the amusement of the Top as he jokingly chides her for it and gives 'extra'...

But to seriously be expected to stay still...nope. :)

sarah

Normally I have very little problem keeping relatively still or "holding position". However, even I am not immune to it it would seem...because it was fairly recently I encountered this issue. It was very strange to actually hear those words and fight like heck in order to obey them. I must admit at the time I didn't do a very good job at it though. However, at that point is when the firm, strong, yet caring hand was placed on my lower back with just enough pressure to keep me from moving too much more than a bit of the wiggles until I calmed slightly regained full position and then the spanking continued. It was an almost sureal experience for me having to truly deal with it for the first time....

Sherie

I actually prefer the wiggling and squirming. It lets me know I'm having an effect. Besides that, it's just so cute to watch. :D When I want to make sure my next swat is really felt, I'll just tell a spankee to get her legs back down or I'll pin them with my leg.

Wiggling and squirming is allowed and even appreciated as long as I do not have to stop the spanking. If it is beginning to get out of hand then a couple quick swats to the back of thighs, especially when using a brush, will usually get her attention. Squirming can actually be a good indicator of how the spanking is progressing, when she begins to slow down I know its about time to stop.

I used to meet with a woman from Detroit. Her and I had very strict rules in place for her. She was always to maintain her position no matter what and if she were to miscount we would start all over. Well on our first meeting as she was being paddled over a desk with the Jok paddle she miscounted. As I told her previously, miscounting would earn her 10 swats with the strap applied in the diaper position then she had to go back to the desk and begin her paddling at one. What I said is exactly what I did and by doing so I ended 10 years of frustration that she carried not being able to find a follow through spanker. So many others had promised but none had ever followed through. She found out that night that I was exactly who she in her mind had been hoping to find since she was 19. We subsequently had 3 more sessions after that and they all followed the exact same protocal. I was also the first disciplinarian that made her cry, no one else had previously been able to even if they spanked her black and blue. She always told me that anything in my hand just hurt and that what made the experience fullfilling for her was my ability to scold and lecture her and get into her head.

Wow!! It's been a year since this thread was started. I'm glad it was resurrected though. Since my last post, I have something more to share. One of the last spankings I gave my fiancee, involved me telling her numerous times to hold still when she'd start squirming. It turned out to be one of our favorite spankings. It lasted longer than most of ours usually do. I have found a new appreciation for this type of spanking and no longer do I necessarily feel like holding position has to be totally absurd or ridiculous.

That said, I also know that there are certain involuntary reactions to things such as pain and I'd never be unreasonable about an instruction. I only use the rule to gain more control of the situation than I already have.